At a Loss No Longer: Employee Grief

Would you know what to do if your co-worker lost a spouse or child, or if your business suddenly lost an employee?

It’s a situation more professionals and businesses are encountering – and in the last two years, there’s been “a significant increase” in requests for help, says Nancy Elmore, the licensed counselor for Michael’s Place, a Traverse City nonprofit that helps individuals and families with grief and healing after a loss.

To that end, the nonprofit is expanding its Compassionate Workplace Program. It now offers crisis care and aftercare support for businesses, corporations and non-profits that have lost a staff member, or that employ a staff member who is experiencing the death of a loved one.

“When an employee loses a spouse, a lot of times the co-workers and employers don’t know what to do,” says Mindy Buell, executive director of Michael’s Place. “Do you attend the funeral, send cards, bring food? We can help alleviate all that stress and anxiety.”

Like all of Michael’s Place services, the Compassionate Workplace Program is free. It’s been available since the organization was founded in 2001, but as need has grown, the nonprofit has worked to make the program more comprehensive, says Elmore.

 “We’re not only responding when there’s been a death in the ‘business family,’ we’re providing presentations to agencies and community groups regarding bereavement issues or issues with children’s emotions that may be rooted in grief.”

Elmore or Buell will go to the business and meet with employees either in groups or individually (or they can receive support via phone or e-mail). They provide materials and make suggestions on how employees can best support their grieving co-worker when he or she returns.

“Probably the least helpful thing a co-worker can say is, ‘I know just how you feel,’” Elmore says. “Even if they’ve experienced the death of a loved one, no two situations are the same. Asking, ‘What are you dealing with today/this week?’ is better than ‘How are you?’”

The staff at GTOC received counseling when they lost a “dear friend and employee” to cancer recently.

“Michael’s Place had a grief counselor immediately available to all staff,” recalls GTOC's Barb Hinzmann. “They gave us ideas on how we could help the family, which gave us confirmation and confidence in doing the right thing.”

According to the Wall Street Journal, 30 workdays are lost annually for each employee who experiences grief without support from co-workers or managers. An organization of 400 employees loses an average of $125,000 in productivity each year.

Buell says many people experiencing a significant loss struggle with memory issues in particular, so it’s helpful when business owners take the time to write things down or e-mail reminders to the grieving employee.

“In this economy, they can’t afford to lose their job, and the employer can’t afford to lose a key employee,” she notes.

After the initial crisis, Michael’s Place provides aftercare, as well.

“We remain in contact with the employer who might be wondering, ‘Am I expecting too much, or too little? How do we help his or her family outside the workplace?’” Buell says.

Michael’s Place provided 48,000 hours of direct services to the grieving last year – up from 2,700 hours its first year.

Need the nonprofit’s help, or want to offer your own? Call 947-6453, e-mail GoodGrief@MyMichaelsPlace.net, or click here to see Michael’s Place’s list of grief support services and to learn how to become a mentor for the new, monthly/activity-based Robin’s Nest program for kids.