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Traverse City News and Events
Saturday, August 1, 2015
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"A Guy Walks Into A Grocery Store..."

"A Guy Walks Into A Grocery Store..."

By Jacob Wheeler

“Have you heard the joke about the young couple on the way to church to get married when they were killed in a car accident? When they arrived at the pearly gates, the man asked St. Peter if he could find a priest to marry them before they entered heaven. St. Peter returned a year later with a priest. The man asked, ‘what if our marriage doesn’t work out? Can we get divorced in heaven?’ To which St. Peter incredulously replied, ‘it took me a whole year to find a priest in heaven. How long do you think it would take to find two lawyers?’ “

If you’ve visited Deering’s Meat Market on Union and 8th Street, you might have heard that one from Carl Ferguson, the bard of dirty jokes who works the till five nights a week, and has for the last 16 years. Ferguson has thousands of jokes in his repertoire. Ferguson treats nearly every Deering’s customer to a yarn.

“The dirty stories I tell the men, the clean stories I tell the women,” he explains. “Some women that enjoy so-called off-color jokes, I tell them, too.” more

Today

Chalk & Chocolate

8:00am Chalk & Chocolate: Presented by the CTAC, Top of Michigan Trails Council & TART Trails, Inc. as part of the TC Film Festival. The sidewalks in the Clinch Park Open Space are the target of artists young & old for this chalk art celebration. www.crookedtree.org more

Sara Hardy Farmers Market

8:00am Sara Hardy Downtown TC Farmers Market: Held in City Parking Lot B + T, between Cass & Union Street. Featuring fresh produce, flowers, meat, herbs & more from local farmers. www.downtowntc.com more

Port Oneida Heritage Run

8:15am Port Oneida Heritage Run: Held at the Charles Olsen Farmstead in Glen Arbor, enjoy the beautiful scenery of the Sleeping Bear Dunes National Lakeshore. Featuring a 5K trail run/walk or the Tiller’s 10K. Supports preservation of the Park’s historic resources. For times & info visit www.phsb.org/1461/recent-news more

Frankfort Farmers Market

9:00am Frankfort Farmers Market: Held at the Open Space Park, 7th - 9th streets & Main St. along the waterfront.

Traverse City Film Festival 2015

9:00am Traverse City Film Festival 2015: July 28 – Aug. 2. Schedule & info: www.traversecityfilmfest.org more

Local Motion!

9:00am Local Motion!: This walk-a-thon benefits Benzie Home Health Care. Held around the south shore of Crystal Lake at 9am; registration at Bellows Park at 8am. Brunch served afterwards for participants. 231-715-3234.

Sideways: Exploring Skateboard Art + Culture

10:00am Sideways: Exploring Skateboard Art + Culture: An exhibition of skateboard design, art & culture by Aaron Draplin, Jason Abraham Smith, Yoonhyup, Mike Blabac, & other local & regional artists. Dennos Museum Center, NMC, TC. Runs through Sept. 6. www.dennosmuseum.org more

Farmers/Flea Market

10:00am Farmers/Flea Market: Held at Wuerfel Park, TC. www.tcbeachbums.com more
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